Insomnia Part 1

Alright, so I have terrible insomnia. Considering that I'm supposed to be getting up early every morning, this is an awful thing. The more trouble I have getting to sleep, the more trouble I have waking up. Of course, once I'm asleep, staying asleep is never a problem. Lately I've gotten into eating before I go to sleep, which I know is bad for me, but I don't have that much of a choice. The plus side to it is that I tend to have some wicked interesting dreams.

Just the other night I had a dream that involved killer sea lions the traveled under the ground and could pop up from mud puddles. I couldn't help but think that it might make for an interesting story. Iron out some details for it and you got one creepy horror tale. Of course now I'm gonna come across a movie or a book somewhere that happens to be about just that. Oh well.

It's quite the trend for me to come up with story ideas. They pop up in my mind like daisies. Most of them I forget by the time I go to write them down. A lot of them are useless. Some of them at least get a plot on paper. Very few actually get a story started. I have only one story that I've actually finished. It was a project for creative writing. Unfortunately, the ending is rather rushed and kinda choppy. I've never been very good with endings. Normally I barely get halfway through a story before I give up. Lord knows I've made a large number of attempts at stories. All sorts of stories too. Fantasy, non-fantasy. Pretty much all of them love stories of course. You can always count on me to be the hopeless romantic.

Beliefs

I wasn't quite sure how to title this and for some reason, titling this before writing it almost seemed like it was defeating the purpose of my blog. Well, to be honest, this entry in general won't be as random as I promised. It has a general focus and since it's been on my mind for a bit I decided to get it down.

A coworker was talking recently about when he was talking to the reverend who picks up donations from our work and they had a talk about religion. I started wondering to myself what I might say when the subject would be brought up to me. Do I believe in Jesus Christ as my lord an savior? No, I don't. Why? Well, simply put, I don't know what I believe in. I feel strongly that God is just something that people believe in to make themselves feel safe I suppose. Maybe, safe isn't the correct word. Maybe instead it is a reassurance of why we're here. Why in fact? Well, God put us here. There is nothing else to it.

This is of course what brings up the opposition of evolution. The question here of why, being answered with because we are a strong race. We have evolved to become what we are and to be superior to our earlier counterparts which have long since died out. Do I believe this. Not entirely. I feel that this as well is a reassurance. Something for us to feel safe about. I feel that at some point, God will become as real as Zeus and that Evolution and Science will become the new God. Soon after that, something else, bigger, better, and greater than science will come to light and such a cycle will continue forth.

As "higher beings" we are constantly searching for an answer. The answer to life. Why are we here? Perhaps forty-two is the correct answer, and then again, perhaps it is not. For now, it's good enough for me. All I have to do, is keep believing that I exist and that this world exists. As spoken by Rene Descartes "Cogito ergo sum" or "I think, therefore I am."

After Me

I'm Extremely afraid of spiders. I afraid to the point that I actually fear that they're out to get me. Ridiculous, I know, but I can't ban the thought from my mind. Yesterday in the shower, one tried to jump me and wound up on the wall near me. I pretended to let it live before I drowned the sucker like I do with any spider that so rudely drops in on me while I'm naked, vulnerable and showering. Then today, while I was cleaning horse stalls, one was headed my way so I shoveled him into the wheel barrel, and then another dropped down behind me three stalls later. I damn near had a heart attack when I turned and saw him. You know, I'd be just fine if they could just stay out of my sight.

I hate when things can't turn out right. You want it to go one way, you will it to go one way, and it completely ignores you and does whatever the hell it feels like. I had planned on hitting bed early tonight. Slip in around ten or ten thirty. I'm not asleep,and it's twelve forty-seven. This always happens though. I get my mind set on something and that something screws up everything else.

I'm too tired to go on. I'll post again...later today I hope. Again, I copyright all this and if you use it without my permission I will find you and sue you.

To all of you, any of you, if there's anyone, have a nice day,
Yours Truly.

The First Peek

I've always wanted to start a blog. I never knew what to write about though. I never thought I had anything good enough to say. This morning though, I was thinking, when I write out my thoughts on regular paper it doesn't help because I'm talking to myself and that's all I do anyway. So, in order to clear my head I have to talk to some one else. The problem with that is that I'm not the best at putting my thoughts into words and talking face to face with others, not to mention I don't have a lot of friends that would understand, care, or listen to me. Often, what they're talking about doesn't always relate to what's rolling around in my head. So this is my way of talking to other people, and getting my thoughts down, whatever comes into my head, whenever it comes into my head.

So that's it for right now, short, but to the point, and now you know what this is all about. Here is my warning, the contents of my mind are scrambled and often very strange. At times I can ramble on none -sense. Many things are speculations, dreams, problems. I'll try to keep it at least pg-13, but no promises, and I am copyrighting this and if I see any of this used without my expressed permission, I can and will sue you, cause yes I am that desperate for the money.

So to all of you, any of you, if there's anyone:
Have a nice day, and enjoy the rest of your day.

Yours truly.